Fighting RA

Eat to Live or Live to Eat

Image result for one step forward two steps back gif

One step forward, two steps back, that’s the way I am moving right now. I juiced for 3 days and went down the rabbit hole again. I know what I have to do, I can see it so clearly, yet I cannot get my head in the game.

What will it take for me to snap out of it? Why can’t I follow my own plan? Nobody sabotages me beside me. I am my own worst enemy and I wish I could make sense out of it.

I feel great when I am juicing and I can tell the inflammation is going down. So why don’t I stick with it as planned? I have given the unbelievable gift to control my health, yet I don’t do it.

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So many out there struggle with diseases, and there is nothing they can do other than taking medications for the rest of their life. Chemotherapy, Radiations, they go through hell and here I am with my autoimmune disorder, and I don’t have the willpower and discipline to follow through.

Have I given up? Am I really willing to let Rheumatoid Arthritis control my everyday life? Are all the wonderful meals I see in my head, worth the pain the cause?

Stay off the dairy! Stay off the gluten! Get your head in the game lady, or there won’t be a game anymore. Permanent results require permanent changes. I know that much. There is no quick fix. I have to follow a specific diet and lifestyle for the rest of my happy life.

Right now I dream of a chicken fried steak breakfast with three fried eggs and hash browns, while fresh, green vegetables are waiting for me in the fridge. Who will win? Take your pick, your guess is as good as mine.

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It shouldn’t be a guessing game. It’s my life, it’s not a game.

Live to eat – or eat to  live

What a profound statement. I should say it out loud every time I feel like binge eating.

I want to live.


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